Sunday, August 30, 2009

beauty's a deceit;

im feeling frantic; why you may ask. the reason is, what if you had been deceive by the ones you loved?

i cleared my mind, and changed for you and us. i gave you every strand of care. and showered you with most of what i call, love. i gave up my everything for you. couldnt you give up one thing for me? or maybe i wasnt worthy of being trusted? i trusted you with all my heart. told you things that only i knew was right to tell.. but yet, you save youself and spare me the embarrassment.. the things you said made it so believable. it had to be, as i didnt expect nothing but the truth..

answer this:
what hurts more. an inconvinient truth? or finding out a lie on your own?

i was made to believe i wasnt the only one, till i found out i was all along. i was made to believe that i had grew strenght in me to pull through, till i found out it was only the adrenaline from the ecstacy; you.. the things i see and the things i felt, its clear to me now; it was never there to begin with.. i was a fool.. yet a fool could feel disgusted. do you think of him, when we did all those things together? was i the replacement? or am i just a toy?..

your eyes which i once known was brown, now its blue or grey. your smile which i once known was sincere, now holds a decieving purpose. your connection which i once felt, was just to make me a vulnerable target. the words you speak and the things you did, i wont forget. but was it all real to begin with? it hurts too much to be a dream; its hurts too much to be a nightmare either..

maybe there was a reason why God made me write down all those quotes. He gave me a heads-up on whats about to come. He tried to save me, but my heart was too stubborn to ressist. now i know what im made-of to become.. a no-one; in God's favour and in your heart..

' Hiding in the shadows,
Lying about your actions,
Can only take you so far..'
i really cant understand why.
dont you think i understand you?
But you put on quite a show,
Really had me going,
Curtain's finally closing,
That was quite a show,
Very entertaining,
But it's over now,
Go on and take a bow..
'Rihanna - Take a bow'