Monday, September 7, 2009


- Currently cleaning up the blood.

woke up with a bleeding nose this morning. didnt care much, just let it bleed. soon had breakfast with my parents before my tutor comes. in the mist of all the eggs, bread and other stuff, i told my parents...

"i want to go to Aussie next year.."

i didnt know what got into me. i just said it. maybe its cause i cant bear to stay here anymore. what is there for here to offer? i just want to get away from this.. far far away. i'm still sprung on what i said. i rushed that sentence without thinking; no hesitation. i just want to take time off this place and figure out who i am and what i'll be; i cant continue living this way... my priorities here are all pushed aside; im really distracted.. i need a clear path.


my parents asked me if i was okay after a moment of silence. my dad gave me a stare while my mum was worried about me. she knew i didnt really want to go and im going because im trying to escape from something.. to make her bug me less, i gave her a simple answer..

"i don't want to sit for SPM.."

obviously i lied. but i cant tell her. and though im not willing to let all the friends i have here go; i think it would definitely be better for me. by the way, i could burden my friends less. now, my parents want a firm answer.. they are giving me a week to make up my mind. they are really hoping to move-over there too.. i usually disagree completely on going.. but now, im thinking twice..

'navigate me to my sanctuary, somewhere'


shoot me with a fusillade of bullets to stop me,
would you do that?