Wednesday, September 16, 2009


-currently trying to kill myself.

just when i realised im hurt enough, guess what smacked me in the face? a post about the ex boyfriend. really? how much more insecure can i get? how am i not supposed to be paranoid. sure, we have not enough problems right? yea, i guess we're doing great.

out of the mist of the pain, i come to read about;

"i still think of you, and still hopes for your call...
still remember my first this and that...

im really tired. and im not having much breaks in between this chaos.. its like a never-ending flow of disasters. sometimes i just cant take it. sometime i just wished i could say, why dont you call him? if you are already weaiting for his calls. why dont you use a MILLION words to bring him back instead of thousands. why not cry another thousand drops of tears if he is all that worth it. why dont you just start over with him, spend another birthday with him, and pretend i was never alive.. hold on to his love forever.. remember all you want, if you carry on doing so, im not promising you anything anymore. i've suffered enough. theres only so much i can do. the damage is not repairable.. this just kills..

you once asked me,
why do i hang on after all the damaged you've caused...
now im asking you to ask yourself,
what have i not done to make him walk away...

i dont seem to have you to hold on to anymore.
what is there to believe in this, together anymore.

your post was not about us,

that's the peoblem..

i guess 'this is fate!' right?..

forgive what i said; im just moaning in pain.